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Archive for October, 2008

10 30th, 2008

freedomDivorce is one of the major chances of life that you may be affected by. You may suddenly feel like your whole world is collapsing. You need to deal with certain issues like the money, the children, your personal changes, and how you can adapt to divorce. First, you have to realize that there is life after marriage. You can bring a new life and not be tied down a marriage that just can’t work. You need to start the divorce process by admitting that it is truly happening to you. You need to get out of your denial stage and accept that things will be different. Don’t expect your mate to come running back, because they have made their decision. Why should you let them come back if they are able to cause you so much pain? If someone can cause you that much pain then they aren’t worth it.

To get moving onto something better, you need to learn when grieving is acceptable and when it is not. Take your time grieving. There are many steps that you will have to go through to get to the point of acceptance. You will be shocked, then confused, then angry, and then so on. You should take months to lie in bed and contemplate where your life is going. You can spend a weekend in bed, and then on Monday get up and go to work and hold your head up high.  You need to take just a little bit of time to examine your life and then you have to focus on your life and your children.

You can’t just stop being a mother; you have to focus on the children. You got to get things together or you will never be happy. You need to make sure that you are productive during your days. Once the divorce is final, you do what you need to do to be happy and focus on the things that matter in your life. Don’t just give up.

Once you have accepted your fate, you do not need to be so negative about it. You can be single at any age and still find true love or happiness. You need to take the negative things and then turn them into something positive. Leave the past in the past and focus on the present and future. Enjoy what you have and look forward towards the future. You should not hold grudges, because it will effect the children. You want to make sure that your children will be able to make a smooth adjustment. You will also want to forget about regret. You shouldn’t regret your marriage because there were so many good memories that you had. If you had children as a result of the marriage, then you obviously wouldn’t want to regret them.

To start the moving on process you need to be a bigger person. Even if you want to yell and curse and be difficult, remember that you have children and ask yourself what they would think of you if they saw you acting like that.  You need to be a role model for your children. You can’t show them that you are upset, because they look at you as their guardian and protector. 

Once you have regained yourself you can then begin to plan your new life. You can purchase a new home, buy a new car, and rebuild a life that is completely what you want. You have complete control over everything. You have so much freedom and you should advantage of the freedom. Change your appearance, redecorate the house, do whatever it takes to find yourself.
 

couselingGoing through a divorce can be a hard time to go through.  It may be difficult to find the right road and get back on track to a normal and healthy life.  Sometimes people find that they are going through a messy divorce and it is hard for them to cope with the things that are gong on around them.  When this is the case, it may be necessary for them to seek some form of counseling so that they can feel better emotionally and physically.

Taking the time to get better after a divorce is crucial.  You have to be willing to make the most of your life and if that means that you need to seek the treatment from a professional, then that is what you have to do.  You should not feel ashamed or embarrassed for this reason. You will want to make sure that you are getting the stability in life that you deserve so that you can find a way to make it through this somewhat difficult time in your life.

There are no guarantees that when you get married you will have a happy life.  You are promised the world and sometimes you end up loosing some of it in the process. You can wind up sad and alone if your marriage does not make it.  The divorce may or may not be your fault but either way; you need to find the inner strength to make it past the hard times. 

Many people will find it hard to make it through all of the situations that come with divorce. They may find it hard to be around old friends, family members and even dealing with work can be a chore. You may not be able to find the ability to take on the challenges that you were once able to take care of no matter what.  When this is something that you have to deal with, you may want to find a counselor to get you through the hard spots. You may be able to get some valuable information that will help you with your ordeal.

You can find many of the counselors in your area to help you with your problems. You may find that you can get a counselor through your church or local community organizations.  A lot of times there are community workshops that are available for you to participate in so that you can get the help and the satisfaction that you need from a good source of support.

The team effort of support that you get from your family and friends will be a big help too. If you have some people to help you through the difficult times, you should take advantage of the support and love that they are willing to give you.  This can be a huge help to you when you are going through this huge change in your life. You will have to learn to accept help where it is needed and be grateful for the angels in your life that are there to help you through it.

There is no reason to turn down counseling when it is offered to you. If you are in need of support, you should take it and be grateful for it. There are many people that are going through the same troubles and like everything, this time will eventually pass and everything will return to normal.  You will not have anything to worry about when you know that you are supported and helped with the effort of a great method of counseling.  You deserve to feel good again and this may be the one thing to help you. 

10 27th, 2008

self esteemWhen the divorce process begins to move along, you may find that your self-esteem is completely gone. Yu need to learn how to rebuild your self-esteem so that you can move on successfully after the divorce. Moving on successfully means that you are okay not being married to them anymore. It may take months or even a year to get there, but it is a lot of work for some. Some people will take it really hard and the shock of the divorce can be devastating. You need to learn on how to focus on the positive things and learn how to appreciate what you got. You will feel a lot better about your life when you learn how to think positively.

You should never beat yourself down. It’s not your fault, it’s not anyone’s fault, you may have just had a bad marriage, it’s so hard to tell what a marriage will be like until a while after “I do”. Don’t think about the past, but focus on the future. You will want to replace any thoughts where you doubt yourself by stating something that you like about yourself and keep telling yourself that your okay and everything will be okay. You should learn to use positive words to describe yourself like smart, beautiful, ambitious, and so on. You image of yourself will effect your life a lot.

To think positively you need to think things to encourage yourself. You should use self-esteem building activities like talking to yourself in a mirror. Tell your reflection how you feel about yourself in a positive way. You should make encouraging statements and you will actually begin to feel better by doing such things. The first step to rebuilding your esteem after divorce is to let go. You need to place the past in the past and begin to think about ways that you and improve the way you feel about yourself.

The best way to let go of the past is to get dressed up and go to your favorite restaurant and eat alone. If you can go there by yourself and have dinner, then you know that you will be okay. You know that you can be okay with being alone. However, if you feel extremely uncomfortable, as yourself why and then tell yourself some encouraging statements so that you can feel better about the situation and accept being alone or single is just as fine. No one will stare at you, no one will notice you and at the end of the meal you will be much stronger.

You should also let go of any goal of being perfect. This will allow you to adjust and you will lighten up about the entire situation. No one is perfect, but making yourself try to be will only make things worst. This is when you should tell yourself that you’re not perfect, but your perfectly fine being who you are.
 If you must you may need to make changes you need to be able to stand on your own. You should decide what you need to do to find yourself again and then reach out. Your level of success and confidence will rise. You should also learn that you can not isolate yourself. You need to be around people and your closest buds will not let your self-esteem dissolve. They will help you through the divorce as well as many other things. Your friends and family should be the key to finding yourself and love after the divorce. You will find the courage to move on by finding comfort in your friends.

10 26th, 2008

Bachelorette PartyIf you are planning a bachelorette party and want to include some naughty games, the possibilities are endless. The games and activities can just barely stretch into the naughty category or they can be all-out embarrassing dirty games.

Before planning any of these games, make sure the bride is willing to play long with them and is outgoing enough for the “public naughty” games. You don’t want to put her on the spot or make her feel uncomfortable. However, if she’s game and willing, many of these games are very popular and extremely fun for girls who enjoy a good time.

First up is “Suck for a buck”. Buy a plain white T shirt and letter on it with fabric paint, “suck for a $”, attach Lifesavers candy to it and have the bride-to-be wear it. When you go out that evening, try to solicit men to suck the lifesavers off the T-shirt. At $1 a man, this is a nice way to pay for a few drinks while you’re out as well!

If the bride isn’t comfortable with the Lifesaver idea, have her wear a candy necklace or bracelet instead and have the men simply bite off a piece of the candy necklace/bracelet.

How about the game where you ask the guests which of them would like her virginity back? The women who say yes line up and are each given a maraschino cherry in a bowl. They are told they have to eat the cherry without using their hands. Doesn’t sound so hard, right? In fact, it gets a little tougher and messier when the host then adds a squirt of whipped cream to each bowl and the women have to find and fish out the cherry all without using their hands.

This activity isn’t quite so naughty, but it could be, depending on the bride’s expressions. As she opens her gifts, and this is assuming there are gifts at this bachelorette party, someone writes down all her expressions as she opens each gift. So there might be “oohs” and “aaahs” and “how cutes” coming from the bride. Once she is done opening gifts, someone says, “If we were outside (bride’s name) hotel room on her wedding night, this is what we’d hear” and you then list the various expressions and comments she made while opening her gifts.

Believe it or not, there are hundreds of products you can buy for steamy bachelorette parties. From fake penises to pin on pictures of hunks on the wall to portable stripper poles, it’s all out there. How about a penis piсata? You could make a game out of who gets to hit the piсata. Turn any drinking game into the piсata game. For example, if the guest would normally take a drink, instead they hit the penis piсata. You could fill the piсata with the always- popular candy, but you could also fill it with sex toys, just to add to the spiciness of the game.

If the bachelorette party is going to be held at a bar or somewhere other than home or in a hotel room, there are a myriad of activities you can come up with to entertain the girls. For example, create a series of challenges. One challenge might be to wander up to a man at a bar. If he were munching the bar-supplied nuts, the challenge would be to say, “Mmmmm. I love a man with salty nuts”.

10 24th, 2008

Favors for a Romantic WeddingWedding can be planned in a variety of different themes. Weddings can have themes based on the seasons, on a holiday, on the beach, on science fiction, on a period of history or any other theme imaginable. However, the underlying theme of any wedding should always be love and romance. Even weddings which may not have a particular theme will likely convey the message of love and romance. This article will provide ideas for wedding favors which will help you to give your guests a reminder of your wedding which will help to invoke the feeling of love and romance. Whether you are planning a particularly romantic wedding or a wedding based on another theme you might want to consider giving favors which are related to romance.

Anything invoking a feeling of love will be an appropriate wedding favor for a romantic wedding. One great example is a silver picture frame with the word love inscribed into the silver. This is a very simple favor but it is also one which accurately conveys the message of love. Your guests may choose to put a picture of you and your partner in the frame to serve as a definite reminder of you and your wedding or they can use the picture frame in any way the wish. However, they decide to use the frame, it will likely always remind them of your wedding. Each time they see the frame displayed in their home, they will fondly remember how much fun they had at your wedding.

Coasters can also be given as favors for a romantic wedding. This may not seem like a particularly romantic gift because it is more of a practical item but you can find ways to make this simple gift more romantic in nature. For example coasters can be purchased in a heart shape or in a design which reflects the theme of love and romance. A coaster displaying a picture of a bride and a groom is one way to do this. The coasters can also simply have the word love written on them or can be decorated with heart shapes to make them seem more romantic. There are even heart shaped coasters available which are designed specifically for wine glasses. These coasters are much smaller than average coasters and can create a very attractive appearance.

Books can also be an excellent idea for wedding favors for a romantic wedding. Again, this may sound as though it will not be particularly romantic because books are typically viewed as being very practical items. However, your choice of book can greatly influence whether or not it is appropriate for a favor at a romantic wedding. A book such as a book of love poems or quotations related to love would be very appropriate to give as favors at a romantic wedding. With a little creativity you may also find other books which are appropriate. For example if you and your partner are particularly fond of a certain classical romance novel you might consider giving each of your guests a copy of this book.

A CD filled with love songs is another great favor idea for a romantic wedding. You can download some of the love songs you and your partner enjoy or songs which you plan to feature at the wedding and put these songs on a CD for each of your guests. You may even want to decorate the CD cover with a portrait of the two of your or with another image which will invoke the message of love and romance. This is not only a romantic gift but it is also a gift which can be very inexpensive. Many savvy brides and grooms may even be able to create these CDs on their own with their home computer. However, even if they do not have the time or the resources to do this, it should be rather inexpensive for the couple to find someone to do this for them.

10 23rd, 2008

Valentine’s Day Gifts for Your GirlfriendMany men become extremely stressed out about shopping for a Valentine’s Day gift for their girlfriends. They feel this pressure because they are very concerned about choosing a gift which is appropriate. They may worry that the gift they give may seem too romantic or not romantic enough for the present stage of the relationship. If they have just started dating their girlfriend they may worry that an expensive gift may be inappropriate but at the same time do not want to risk giving a gift which makes their girlfriend think they are not serious about the relationship. All of this self doubt can make buying a gift for your girlfriend on Valentine’s Day a very difficult task. This article will provide some tips for men who are struggling to select a gift for their girlfriends on Valentine’s Day.

Men who are trying to decide on a Valentine’s Day gift for their girlfriends should first carefully consider the present stage of the relationship. This is very important because it will help to dictate the type of gift you give to your girlfriend. If you and your girlfriend have been dating for quite awhile and you are fairly confident you are both strongly committed to each other, you can consider more expensive and extravagant gifts. However, if you have only been dating for a short time and you aren’t really sure where the relationship is going, you might want to consider a less elaborate gift. It is important to carefully evaluate your relationship but you should also remember that in doing this you run the risk that you will be interpreting the relationship in a way that is different from your girlfriend. You may feel as though things are going well and the two of you are strongly committed but she may feel as though the relationship is still too new to be thinking about the future or vice versa. This can create a difficult situation so you might consider having a conversation with your girlfriend about your status before shopping for Valentine’s Day. This will help to assure the two of you are on the same page.

Flowers are one of the easiest gift ideas for a man to give to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. This is such an easy gift because it is so widely associated with Valentine’s Day that it is not likely to be misinterpreted by the recipient. A gift of one dozen or more red roses is considered to be a romantic gift but it is also very common so your girlfriend is not likely to read too much into this type of gift. However, there are some mistakes a man can make when giving his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. For example, your girlfriend may be hurt and disappointed by a gift of yellow roses because this gift is usually meant to symbolize friendship and not romantic love. This is significant because if you give your girlfriend yellow roses she may feel as though you don not take the relationship seriously and do not think there is much of a romantic future for the two of you. The one exception to this is if your girlfriend particularly likes yellow roses, or another flower not traditionally associated with Valentine’s Day, and you know she will appreciate a gift of this particular flower on Valentine’s Day.

Jewelry is an appropriate gift for you to give to your girlfriend on Valentine’s Day as long as the cost and type of gift is commensurate with the stage of your current relationship. For example an expensive diamond ring would not be appropriate if you and your girlfriend have only been dating for a short time. However, a gift of a diamond ring may also be inappropriate in a long term relationship if your girlfriend assumes the ring is an engagement ring and you meant the gift to be a token of your love only. In general when giving jewelry to your girlfriend it is a good idea to limit gifts to less expensive items in a new relationship but you can purchase more extravagant gifts for a strong relationship for which you see a definite future.

10 23rd, 2008

valetine day apartThere are a number of reasons why a couple may find themselves spending Valentine’s Day apart. Couples who are in a long distance relationship, business trips, shifts which prevent couples from being together, sickness and family emergencies are just a few examples of reasons why a couple may find themselves spending Valentine’s Day apart. While you may certainly understand the reasons why you and your loved ones cannot be together on Valentine’s Day it does not make it any easy to deal with this situation. You may still feel sad and lonely if you find yourself in one of these situations. However, there is home for those who are spending Valentine’s Day apart from their loved ones, there are a few ways for making the day a lot more fun. This article will provide information on ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day apart in a number of different scenarios.

First we will consider the case of a couple who is in a long distance relationship. For this couple, they may be used to spending important days such as Valentine’s Day, anniversaries and other holidays apart so it may not be as difficult for them to deal with. However, there are ways this couple can still celebrate Valentine’s Day together. One way to do this is to both rent the same movie and watch it while on the phone together. This may run up your phone bill but if you have unlimited evening minutes you and your partner can chat away on your cell phones while you watch the movie together. You might even consider both ordering the same type of food such as pizza or Chinese food so you will feel even more together for a little while.

Next we will consider a couple who finds themselves spending Valentine’s Day apart do to an unexpected business trip. This can be particularly difficult because the couple is not used to being apart on important days and likely did not have a great deal of time to prepare for spending the holiday apart. In this situation the couple should discuss Valentine’s Day as soon as they realize they are going to be spending the holiday apart. While discussing it they can decide whether they want to celebrate before they separate or after they are reunited. It is also important for the couple to try to at least have some contact on Valentine’s Day even if it is over the phone or through email. This will allow the couple to feel like they are together in some way so they don’t get too lonely. Having flowers delivered to your loved one while you are separated is also a very thoughtful gesture.

Finally, we will consider the case of a couple who cannot spend Valentine’s Day together because one or both of them does work which involves odd shifts. This could include doctors, firefighters, police officers or a variety of other professions. Individuals in this type of situation are probably used to their odd schedule and making time to be together outside of working hours. In this case the best way to deal with being apart on Valentine’s Day is to plan on celebrating together when it is more convenient. This may not seem like the most romantic option but sometimes it is important to remember that you love your partner every day of the year and you don’t have to be together on Valentine’s Day to prove your love for each other.

10 21st, 2008

single menNo matter what your age, height, weight or physical appearance, there are thousands of women out there eager to meet you and eager for your company…whether short-term or long-term relationships are what you want.  If you have found yourself suddenly “on-the-market” again after a relationship has dissolved or are just too busy with your work to spend a lot of time looking for a lady to keep you company, online dating can open the door to the dating scene for you. 

The good news is that all you need is a computer and an internet connection to get started.  The first thing to do is find an online dating site that fits your needs.  There are the large sites that offer many extras like live video chat and even match you up with ladies using your profiles and, also, a lot of sites that cater to special interests like religious preferences, outdoor enthusiasts, gays, etc. You need to choose one or two that will meet your needs.  I don’t recommend the free sites.  The paid sites have a money back guarantee if you aren’t satisfied and the investment is small.  A whole month costs less than one dinner and movie date. 

The next thing you need to do is write a killer, but honest, profile and upload a recent but flattering picture of yourself.   Now you are all set.  Start contacting ladies whose profiles sound interesting to you and answer any lady who contacts you…and do so promptly…not, however, on holidays or weekends.  You don’t want to appear that desperate.  Don’t give up after a month and think you will never find the right lady for you.  New people join online dating services daily and at least half of them are ladies many, of whom, will want to meet you. 

debtAre you a woman who is in debt?  Whether you have debt solely from attending college, from credit cards, old medical bills, or a combination of them all, you may be scared, unsure, and frustrated.  In today’s society, with regularly rude calls from debt collectors, you may be feeling as if your debt is causing you to become insane.  Yes, it may seem like the end of the world, especially at first, but it is important to remember that your debt doesn’t have to the be the end of you.

As previously stated, a large number of debt-ridden women in the United States have problems with debt collectors calling at just about all hours, as well as having rude attitudes. The last thing that you will want to do is allow a debt collector to get you all worked up, no matter how they act or treat you.  If you feel that you cannot take it anymore, you do not have to.  At any point in time, when speaking to a debt collector, you can simply hang up the telephone.  More drastic approaches have been used by women including screening all telephone calls with the use of caller id or an answering machine.

Although you may not be interested in speaking with a debt collector, you may want to think about doing so.  Often times, you will find that debt collectors stop calling or at least reduce the number of calls that they place to you once they are able to at least speak with you. So, if you are feeling up to it, go ahead and answer that phone. Just be sure not to make any payment arrangements that you cannot keep. Also, be sure to check the statue of limitations in your state.  In some states, such as New York, the statue of limitations on when debt can be collected is six years.

Another one of the many reasons why debt is so stressful and such an issue for many women is because they feel helpless and hopeless when they are unable to pay their debt.  What you need to remember though is that there are always ways that you can go about working to pay off your debt, even if it is just a little bit at a time. It may seem silly, but paying off your debt, even if it is only twenty dollars here and there, is likely lessen the burden and stress that you currently feel.

If you would like to get out of debt, but you don’t know how, you may want to consider making an appointment with a debt reduction specialist or an accountant. While this professional assistance will cost you a little bit of money, upfront, it is well worth it for many women; women just like you.  That is because the professional assistance of debt reduction specialists and accountants may be able to help you get your life back on track.

Although the cost of seeking professional assistance is more than worth it, you may not necessarily have the money to spend. If that is the case, you can still work to get yourself out of debt and settle this stressful issue once and for all. What you are urged to do is examine your spending habits.  You may even want to record all of the purchases that you make during one weeks time. How many of those purchases can you live without, even just temporarily? As previously stated, paying off your debt, even in little increments, may be able to help reduce the stress often associated with unpaid debts.  So, even if you are only able to save two dollars on a soda each day, that should provide you with twenty dollars a week to put towards your debt.

In short, debt is an issue that many women must face and deal with each day. Although it may seem like it, debt doesn’t have to be the end of you, as outlined above.

10 17th, 2008

BachelorettePlanning a bachelorette party is one of the easiest parts of a wedding to plan. There are literally hundreds of ideas for things to do and a myriad of options for games. Many of those ideas are a bit on the racy side, but there are plenty that that are just plain clean fun.

For example, one popular bachelorette game involves asking the guests to become poets. Ahead of the party, take 50 index cards and on half, write romantic things, like “roses”, “cuddly”, etc. On the other 25 cards, write very non-romantic words or phrases, like “nose hairs” or “ironing”. Then have each guest draw one card from each pile. They should then create a silly poem based on the two very different words or phrases they have chosen, for example, “Roses are red, your nose hairs are ewwwww.”

One fun game that is sure to engender at least a few laughs is “name that item”. Take a paper bag (a fabric bag is better if you have one) and fill the bag with typical “male items”. The items might include a razor, a money clip, a tie, shoe polish, etc. Seal the bag, or fold it over really well. Then have each guest feel the bag and try to guess the contents. Have them write their guesses on a piece of paper. After everyone has had a chance to feel the bag, the contents are shown and the person with the most number of correct guesses gets the bag of male-oriented items.

Here’s a fun idea. This game might take the whole of the bachelorette party, but it’s a fun one that involves all the guests, helps them get to know one another and provides video proof you all had a good time. You need video cameras for this game, so if the host only has one camera, be sure to ask guests to bring more video cameras. Make sure you also have enough blank tapes for this game.

Depending on the number of guests at the party, you’ll divide the party into two or more groups. It’s best to divide the group into teams small enough so that the whole team can get into one car. So you’ll have maybe five women on each team. You’ll give each team a video camera, blank videotapes and a list of “scavenger hunt” type activities they must perform and tape.

Some video scavenger hunt ideas include having a complete stranger sing the national anthem, having a member of the team sing “I wish I were an Oscar Meyer hot dog” in the meat section of the grocery store and taping a stranger who can do a good impersonation of John Wayne.

The teams should be given a specific amount of time in which to complete their assigned tasks and then return to the party location (ideally, a home, in this case). The videos are viewed and the teams vote on the team that did the best. Bonus points are given for the team that creates their own stunts.

Bachelorette party games are not only designed to bring fun to the party, but sometimes to help people get to know one another. This might be a good opportunity for the bride’s best friend to get to know the sister of the groom, or for the bride to get close to the groom’s cousin or niece. So an icebreaker game isn’t a bad idea.

This isn’t perhaps the most intellectual of an icebreaker game, but it will likely break the ice early in the evening before you head out to other events. Play a game called “I never…” and see who takes the most drinks. So the first woman says, “I never…” and completes the sentence. The women who have done the thing the first woman says she’s never done take a drink. Then the next woman claims to have “never” done something.

Some suggestions for this game are: “I never …”
*Lied about my age
*Lied about my weight
*Shoplifted
*Got a speeding ticket
*Ran naked through my house

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